It is in the first five minutes of a
conversation that we have to establish
rapport and trust. Understanding
what influences good communication and
being able to quickly adjust naturally to
each personality type will greatly contribute
to a mutually positive outcome — and,
in the case of a sales call, greatly increase
our rate of success.
If asked, most of us would say that
effective communications would depend
largely on the words we speak. But studies
show that is simply not true. Whether
consciously or unconsciously, we have
become trained to respond more to tonality
and to pick up on every subtle movement
of body language. In fact, tonality
and body language together contribute a
whopping 93 percent of how we communicate
with each other.
## Seven Percent Spoken ##
The words we speak account for only
seven percent of what we communicate.
But that doesn’t mean they don’t matter.
For the most effective communication, the
words we use should change to mirror the
personality type of the person we want to
communicate with. For
example: the vocabulary and communication
style used by a business executive who
thinks in terms of detailed business plans
would be very different from those of an
artist who is focused on how best to express
feelings and emotions. It is extremely
important to be able to “mirror” the style
and vocabulary of those with whom you
are communicating — i.e., a driver personality,
an analytical personality, an amiable
personality or an expressive personality.
How we speak those words, or tonality,
accounts for 38 percent of what we
communicate. How many times have
we heard the adage, “It’s not what you
said, it’s how you said it”? Each personality
type connects with your message
best when the tone, inflection and
pace of communication match up with
their communication style as well. For
example: a driver personality will want
to get to the point quickly in a very business-
like manner and may have rapid-fire
questions, expecting quick, business-like
answers in order to come to a decision.
On the other hand, if you do that with
an amiable or expressive personality, you
will totally fail to connect.
Body language accounts for over 55 percent of what we communicate. And
here’s a helpful tip: body language is always
linked to one’s attitude. My mother, who
was a professional banker, told me many
times to “Stand straight, look ‘em in the
eye, communicate with conviction and
smile. Oh, and polish those shoes.” Great
advice, because no matter which personality
type you are communicating with,
positive body language contributes to
good communication.
## The Eyes Have It ##
With good eye contact you will be
able to read real-time emotions and make
necessary adjustments on the fly. Watch
the eyes. Is the person you’re speaking
with making positive contact with you,
supporting what you are saying? Or are
they frowning or squinting and looking
away because they are in deep thought
or uncomfortable with your message? If
their eyes are looking up and away, they
might be trying to visualize. However,
if the eyes are down and away, they are
usually analyzing information and in
deep thought. Are the corners of the
mouth turned up in agreement and
excitement? Or are they turned down,
saying, “I’m not with you yet”? And if
you see the jaw muscles tighten, well, just
know that you’ve hit a nerve or they are
becoming frustrated.
## Learn a New Language ##
Reading a good book on body
language is not only fun, but very helpful.
Once you have a complete understanding
of how to read body language, it’s like listening to
s o m e o n e
speak about
you in a foreign
language when
they don’t think you
know what they are saying.
How cool is that?
Understanding what
influences good communications
is only half of the equation.
The other half, which
is equally important, is to
possess a working understanding
of the four basic personality
types. Each personality
type addresses communications
differently with regards
to how they process information,
the words they use, the
level of emotion expressed, the
rate of speech and what makes
them reach a decision. Thus,
next time we will take a look at
how best to communicate with
each of the four
basic personality
types:
The Driver,
the Analytical,
the Expressive and
the Amiable.
Wishing you the best of
success.